GAY MEAT – BLUE WATER
In the spring of 2018 my mom, Karen Maria Schmitt, suffered six grand mal seizures in a row which permanently damaged her brain. We spent almost seven weeks in the hospital trying to understand the extent of the damage, how to control it, and what life would look like for her once she was released. In the wake of such a tragedy I took the steps to become her legal guardian, and sat by her side for years of rehab in a nursing home as she regained her speech, mobility, and unbelievable sense of humor.
Blue Water is a compiling of the songs I was working on shortly before she went into the hospital, and the songs I wrote during that time… to cope, to try to make sense of it all, and to begin to understand what life would look like for me on the other side of it.
All of the songs were demoed in 2018, with initial recording sessions booked at BNB Audio in Chapel Hill, NC in spring of 2019. It’s taken me, and my producer friends Brett Scott, and Alex Thompson over six years to finish, but it’s finally almost done. It’s crazy to think that every song I’ve released as Gay Meat up until this point was written after I wrote these songs, but I couldn’t imagine a better debut LP.
Currently we’re finalizing mixes. Next step would be to send a few tracks off to a couple different folks for mastering samples before we commit to who exactly will be mastering the record.
My mom died January 23rd 2021. This album is dedicated to her so completely. I’ll always be my mother’s son. She was my lucky charm, and I was hers.
MOCK ALBUM COVER 1
MOCK ALBUM BACK COVER 1
MOCK ALBUM COVER 2
Current rough vinyl mock
Still working on the back of the insert! So that’s coming soon!
TEST PRESSING MOCK
POTENTIAL PREORDER TEE
Bumper sticker idea
Focus tracks, or singles in my mind would be “More Good Angels”, “The Powerball”, “Vodka Sprite”, and “Cheat Death.”
The top player is the “limited” mixes with a form of faux-mastering on them
The player below that is the raw mixes as they stand now
↓↓↓ Thank you! ↓↓↓
You can also download the mp3s of the record if you would like HERE!
SOME FACTS
SOCIALS
1,166 followers on Spotify
5,542 followers on Instagram
560 followers on TikTok
223 followers on Bandcamp
PRESS
Press from Stereogum, BrooklynVegan, Billboard, Creative Independent, The Talkhouse, and FLOOD Magazine…
All without a publicist!
PLAYLISTING
Pitchfork Selects
NPR New Music Friday
Spotify “Fresh Finds Rock”
The Sound of Indie Punk
TOURING
No touring planned at the moment!*
But have prior experiences working with Greg Horbal and Andrew Ellis**
Self-booked three tours in 2023 including an official showcase at SXSW***
*if you are reading this and have a good relationship with a booking agent who has room on their roster I would LOVE to be introduced! I have so much touring experience, and DO NOT SUCK live! I’m just 34 and now-more-than-ever deeply out of the loop with the kids booking DIY stuff… but still I try*
**My previous project Museum Mouth was active 2009-2019. The first 6 years of the band we were DIY, the last 4 we were working with APA and toured accross the US multiple times supporting bands like Say Anything, mewithoutYou, Kississippi, and Thin Lips. Playing shows with bands like Joyce Manor, Modern Baseball, Against Me!, and Palm. If I had to guess we played 300+ shows**
***Since 2021 Gay Meat has played 20 shows! BUT I have admittedly been busy touring as a drummer with Chris Farren (2024), and filling in on drums and bass for Kississippi (2022)***
Over $8k in sales since 2021 on bandcamp
$6700 of that is soft merch
sold 150 shirts before I ever played a gay meat show!
[alright I love you // I love you // you’re my lucky charm // you’re mine]
i’ve been thinking about your life
the hand you were dealt
and possibly why
were you born cursed
or was it poor judgement
and did you know i would inherit it
gorgeous potential too soon lost
working hard for no payoff
goddamn this irony
never one to fail me
it always takes the ones i love
but i’d know your face from anywhere or anyplace
backing vocals from Alex Thompson, and Chris Farren
in the morning when I wake up
i feel this pressure and it makes my heart start to rush
anxiety, encephalopathy
is it still out of left field
if you see it coming?
my mind gets stuck on four letter words
will i fail?
do i really have a home?
romanticize the myth of having fun
but wasted time
it can’t be undone
i miss having fun
i guess it’s true
that i’m my mother’s son
in my dreams it’s him holding me
he takes his shirt off
and now we’re wrestling
walking through parks
and we’re swimming in lakes
is it so wrong to crave the simple and safe?
push down desire around the ones you love
cuz they can’t sympathize
with what you never speak of
crawl back to bed for six more days
you can’t complain
it’s always been this way
and nothing’s changed
i guess it’s true that I’m my mother’s son
backing vocals from Alex Thompson, and Jeff Rosenstock
i used to think that nervous energy
was better than tough luck
or to face defeat
you know somethings
they’re always changing
corner of my room rearranging
and it never stops
cursed or blessed
what will all these memories be
cuz everything you say
oh it sounds so sweet
but it’s all rehearsed long before me
and what comes after this
us? anything?
and is that something i need?
summer into fall
now it’s wintertime
the snow on the ground
melts and it turns to ice
you know we could be something like that
an already cold heart
at once turns black
now there’s just no turning back
i know i said that i’d be fine
i know you’re seeing other guys
two weeks four months i’m finally done
confusing love for fun
backing vocals from Alex Thompson, Nick O’Reilly, and Rachel Haller
you’ve seen too much
you feel too much
you sleep it off
but it’s never enough
cuz patience doesn’t pay a patient’s stay
and pity doesn’t make a family’s namesake
but more good comes
to those who wait
who see through hell
that’s what you’d always say
but now i can’t just ask you questions
i’m praying for my own reflection
helpless as the angels gather round
you’ve seen too much
you feel insane
that’s how it’s always been so nothing’s changed
a southern storm that shakes the leaves
the heaviest branch falls off the tree
i think that’s how they feel about you and me
and it’s not fair
but i guess it’s fine
we both fought hard
i think we did alright
holding hands at this moving line
i was your lucky charm
and you were mine
if i wait is there anything i’m missing
if i stay what’s the point
cuz you will make a monster of me
And i will resign to that place in my mind
and say something i don’t mean
if i run away what’s the worst you could do
would you change or rewrite the truth
cuz hate will make a monster of you
and i will resign to that place in my mind
that awful little room
and you will make a monster of me
and i will resign to that place in my mind
cuz it keeps me company
backing vocals by Sarah Tudzin from Illuminati HottiesDay trip
To the state line
To buy fireworks
Do you remember the time
We played the powerball feeling lucky
Wrote down my birthday cuz you were proud of me
Blue PT
I had just turned 9
Scotchman off 17
It got dark outside
The wind blew open the door
And the rain came in
Cashier ran around the counter
Locked us in with him
And you said you were worried
About our babies back home
How you hoped they were sleeping
Not out in the storm
[it’s your mom // fritz wishes you a happy father’s day // gimme a buzz when you have a chance // and thank you for letting me leave a message]
Now so much has changed
I’m reminded every day
Penny meows to me
From the passenger’s seat
Had to put Fritz down last week
severance pay for those still learning
how to not cash in their earnings
praying that this pain is past it’s peak
grief it creeps up from the backseat
how did you figure this all out?
or did you just start running?
did you carry your doubts?
did they weigh on you?
like they do on me now?
you never let it show
Annual reprise
I’m feeling so uninspired
So I drive to your house
Looking to make peace of mind
I watch your eyes shift
Beneath your eyelids
This life’s a bad trip
This life’s just one bad trip
For you
Repeat your MO
I don’t care
Pull back the sheets
Brush your hair
Dollar tree to ABC
Vodka, sprite, and your hand cream
Is this the dream that you sold me
When I was young and so naive
Memories covered in filth
Wipe off the dust from the windowsill
Just another night
In another life
Just another guy
Who will do you wrong
check off the boxes
all dues are paid
if you even care
for those kinds of things
we lost the battle
it was rigged anyway
but we won the war
now we’ve got it made
and i’ll say it ten times
i love you more
than words describe
thought i lost you in march
thought we were done for in may
now it’s september first
it’s wild how things change
this month i move in your house
start fixing the old place
that one story ranch on memory lane
and i’ll say it a hundred times
i love you more than words describe
audrey had a dream that you came home last night
you were up walking around all on your own
and when she told me about it
i started to cry
i just wanted it so bad
i just want it so bad
and i’ll say it five hundred times
i love you more than words describe
and i’ll say it twelve thousand times
i love you more i love you more
backing vocals by Lamont Brown from Rniei’m not trying to be
another thorn in your side
famous last words i heard
from the former thorn in my side
breaking bread with both hands
tell me two truths and three lies
or is it better unsaid
do i really want what’s inside
your simple life
shaken out of a dream
i’m recompense
time out just what’s on your mind
you know that you can rely on me for most things
you just gotta give me a sign
[you ready? // yeah dude]
cuz i don’t wanna be the one
bad all the time
who always leaves
how many fingers am i holding up
is your bed comfortable
are you warm enough
do you miss me?
i mean the old me
thirteen running free
Smithville park
blue and green
or sixteen going fast
holly drive
grey and black
you were there every night
your blonde hair
and blue eyes
you tried to tell me time hurts
it turns out you were right
don’t hold me down
this is where i belong
don’t hold me down
this is where i belong now
because you give your whole life
and then they take it out back
as i watch it expire
as i gain what you lack
don’t hold me down
this is where i belong now
[honey, in ten more days I’m gonna be 60 years old // sixty! // I’m old as dirt // call me back when you have a chance // i love you // sixty!? // where did my life go!? // love you]
[I don’t care // i love you // I love… you]
go and get strong
you say you hate this place
even on the good days
i know but hold on
remember six months ago
you couldn’t tell me you wanna go home
you cheat death and you fall
you crack a couple bones in the storm
but you’re doing alright
in spite the state of your left brain
it’s clear you’ve still got so much fight
and you still recognize me
i think you always would
and you still recognize me
your baby boy he’s doing good
i’m trying to do right by you
i think you’d know my face
from anywhere or anyplace
[okay ready, set, go! // Blue water // blue as blue as blue can be // i was blue // really blue // blue blue blue water]
[that was beautiful // pretty good, huh? // that was really good // hey! // getting blue water!]
[do you think I got my singing skills from you?]
[NO! Hahahaha]
intended to be a bonus track. could be cool to maybe release this song on a flexi with the most limited variant of the preorder? then put it up on streaming 6 months-to-a-year after the record comes out? just a thought!oh leslie
you don’t know what you do for me
would she be proud of you
is she proud of anything
it’s hard to tell sometimes
just what’s real sometimes
now i know
the stocking that you bought me
back in ’93
it’s a subtle reminder that
i won’t have the luxury
one day of ignoring your calls
because you won’t call anymore
and that haunts me
i am haunting
That haunts me
I am haunting